Th' Awkward Penguin - Gone Wobbly Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

T'was once a awkward penguin
Most unbalanced, they say
Teetered about, from the beginnin'
On his webbed feet he couldn't stay.

Perhaps he had a drinking problem
Due to his habit of mouth open, swimmin'
So when on ice, he usually lay there, eyes closed,
And that's mostly the way he was to be found.

This day was as others before,
If you listened, you could hear him gently snore.
Then something disturbed him, he knew not what
But the clumsy penguin sensed danger was afoot.

Slowly he raised his head and looked about
And found his very life was in doubt
For there across the ice flow crept a bear
Thinking for dinner, a penguin would be his fare.

All the other birds were a twitter,
As flight was impossible to escape the danger
Their wings not designed for soaring
Only worked for water, going.

Who would be the one selected by the hungry bear?
Self preservation was their only care.
Rushing back and forth and making such a clatter,
A wonder other bears didn't come to see what was the matter.

This bear knew a fact that all bears surely know.
Penguins (and bears too) run in a straight line when on an icey flo.
So the great white furry one,
Thought; the one lying there, he would dine upon.

And as the other penguins ran away
Wobbly was abandoned, his was the price to pay.
He stood and raised himself to his greatest height,
To face this foe in what was an unfair fight.

But at least he thought as he looked around.
The other penguins would be safe and sound.
As they raced to protecting waters and leaped in.
All were ahead of this one, poor clumsy penguin.

Wobbly just couldn't seem to get his feet together
Was it right then left, or left then right, or did it really matter.
At last he thought, well do I really care if I go right then left
Or left then right, just as long as I propel myself.

So he started in what to others would be a disgrace
But that was after all his only pace.
While others in a straight line did go,
He seemed to wobble too and fro.

Then the bear charged head on,
But, too bad (for the bear) the penguin was gone,
Wobbled sort of on his left foot and spun about
Like in a dance, or perhaps in a rout.

Again and again the bear in a straight line
Came a chargin' only to miss to his chagrin.
As the clumsy penguin,
Wobbled too and fro agin.

The bear stopped and shook his head in disgust
And uttered words unprintable, I trust.
Decided to have fish for dinner instead
As wobbly penguins confused his head.

And into the water, the bear did go
Swimming away from this particular icy flo.
Leaving behind a wobbly penguin and his friends
Who gathered round him to make amends
Apologized as penguins do
And a girl penguin winked at (you know who) .

The rest of the story you will have to figure on your own
Seems there are now several other awkward penguins at their polar home.