That Time Of Year Poem by Terra Bartlebaugh

It's that time of year again,
when the leaves begin to change
and my feelings do too.

Thoughts swim in my head
like a shark around its prey,
and I feel like I'm drowning once again.

I feel the tears pool in my eyes
and the increased urge to isolate myself,
staying in bed and never wanting to go anywhere again.

It's that time of year,
when blades on anything look appetizing, seductive...
when sadness swallows me up like the sun in the winter.

All that is left is in the empty, sorrowful sky,
and I realize just how small I am in this world.
I realize just how much myself matches that Autumn sky.

It happens every year without reason or rhyme,
and I feel helpless as I feel myself sinking into oblivion.
I'm tired of feeling this way.

Nothing helps me except one thing,
and it's the one thing that keeps me sane;
It's the one thing that also puts me at risk.

So I hide within myself,
long sleeved shirts hide my pain
and I know it's only a temporary fix until the sadness eats at me again.