The Army Of God Poem by Thabani Khumalo

Today in the history of many years -
If my thoughts are very clear about the many things I have seen,
I am a slightly different boy to others,
I am small and not big,
I am quiet within soundness,
I am shy and not outgoing,
I am slow and not quick,
I am weak and not strong,
And among the many things I love -
I love it all but being in company.

Again when I was a boy
(Living at the commence of the most vain life) ,
I wanted to heed the call of the voices in my head
Tell me the mysteries from the dimensions hidden to man -
All of the demons I had to defer
When I heeded the call of the teacher saying,
‘‘children, obey your parents and take to heart the words of their counsel.''
I listened to my mother and she repeated after him and said,
‘‘obey the law of the lord and hold fast the innumerable commandments therein.''

Once I was part of the lord's army
Claiming to have found the sought after yet elusive salvation,
I gullibly opened my heart to hearing all things vain and ungainly,
I was often offset by the torturous propaganda -
Phantom convictions that go on without end.
I declared war between myself until both parts of me were traumatized.
I became upset with myself when I thought I had sinned
And I crept to a quiet corner and I begged for forgiveness.

How far fear has been drilled into the minds of children -
Because of mothers that preach endlessly about the wrath of the sweet Jesus Christ -
Into the ear - into the two ears of the tiny head.
... That god is a being of the mind
Yet we shall see his true face when we die
And he will cook us forever from under the earth
(The soil we slaves have lived to toil)
In a flame of fire that never fails.

God can not relate with agony of man,
Which why it's his or the other way
But if we obey and endure the devil's torments
And we carry on without pleasure and without leisure
Then, we shall be fit for reception in the heaven of his.

Once I was a boy and I was happy to be a member of the army of god.