The Book Of Memories... Poem by Faithful Addiction

The Book Of Memories...

How do people leave and move on?
How they do away with ease?
Coz I can count the days - that pass me by
But for me - this time has freezed

I doubt if they were ever in love?
Wonder, how they fix their minds?
Coz for me it's been impossible.
Four years & all this time... and still

She always surrounds me…
Do you see her face in my eyes?
For me beauty that's around us
Is nothing but her disguise…

She is my one fine memory
That I don't want to erase
And she's the one that occupies me
When I am lost in my own space.... (That's every time)

When I close my eyes and think of her
It sends chills to my spine
I see the face of a lover
In a time - when she was mine

Lin's Love story….. The Advent

It was the summer of 2006
In North Indian continent
I had just started working
I was a layman, there were no friends

But I was sharp observer
That's what my TL said
She said, 'I like you in my team
You are a bright lad'

That was when I first saw her
I was on call - she passed me by
I could make it from her presence
There is a new batch aligned

And in the very next week
She was welcomed on the floor
She was through with her assessments
And guys were hoping to know her more

She was chosen for my team
We were praying for this scene
Coz we were longing for the Venus
Had no girls our my team

And my TL introduced me
In a sweet way it seemed
She saw me with her Tiny Smokey eyes... (Wearing Blue Mascara)
She was from North-Eastern regime

She said her name is 'Linda'
But I started calling 'Lin'
And she liked me way I was
As she called me 'Naveen'

Then the day came in
When she took her first call
I was sitting in other corner
Busy with my customer

She dialed the number &
Threw away her headphones
She almost screamed my name
As if I was her Rolling Stone

I approached her thinking
It's obvious for first time
I didn't have no clue
One day she'll be mine

She said she can't understand
A word they say
I might sound a little funny
But there was smile on my face.

I looked her in the eyes
And said I've faith in you
And I know that you can make it
Just give it a week or so

Don't you panic, Girl!
Just one week - we need time
And until then you'll goof up
But than that's not a crime

And then after that week
She started matching the flow
I was trying to help her ease the burden
In the best ways I knew

Even I was good at calls
But my sales were pathetic
I was meant for in-bounds
Coz sales were apologetic

That's how we got to know
Each other in those times
When Rehanna was on charts
And Jal's Aadat was in rhymes

Then she bought a cell phone
Added me on speed dialing
For the times when she needs me
And emergencies were always in

We use to live in opposite corners of Delhi city
She got her first salary & started looking more pretty
We started chatting on phone for longer time spans
That was time when Idea came up with Night calling plans

And my parents were sick of me
As I'll tell them good night
And will keep chatting to her
Till my balance has died

We were fine
Rocking, talking, mocking every time
She'll say some crazy things
That'll run me out of my mind

I'd never dreamed of having
Such a girl in my life
I was raised in a small village
With deprivation & had to strive

She was little Cinderella
From the fairy's tail
I would wish to be prince
But was afraid to fail

I was afraid - I may fail to give her
Things she deserves and demand
Then she'd have to compromise
And that's not what I want

I'd always believed love is the biggest deed
But had hardly seen love if there is dread to feed
Dread of longing aspirations which grows with time
Dread of being overrun with people I thought were mine

But she was nice and would never mind sharing her things
She'd tell me about the stories of season of spring
She'd tell me about the guys who approach her when she's alone
But not actually complaining for her it was the same old song

Her accent of Hindi - was the chime of the bells
She was so fun to be with - made heaven in hell
It was just her presence that strengthen my life
And somewhere inside I felt - If she'd be my wife?

And like everything in life have some up and some down
The good times were over and now leap and bounce
The office we worked was then closed by authorities
I got another job but was worried for my Shorty

Coz she was new a City - with full of Animals around
Who'd be hunting for faces in need - and if they found
They may bid for these faces that look nice and pretty
There's nothing they want but just their chastity

She was trying tooth and nail to make ends meet
Times we spend together were more then a treat
But now was the time when she'd do what it takes
And that's what scared me most - now she could make a mistake

This was the time when I heard this voice inside
It felt like God was speaking to me for the first time
He said 'The reason for your existence is to be her savior,
Coz she's one of my children and you've got to protect her,
She has seen enough struggles, lots of times back home
Now it's your job to keep her happy - I don't want her to morn'

And this voice struck me right into the middle of my soul
I felt so rejuvenated - like there was a new control
I have got to protect her - this is my only goal
She is the one who's got my everything, my heart, my mind, my soul.

I was in my new job and she was searching for one
Then she told me with a heavy heart - it's getting hard to run
It's hard to run a life when you have to strive for money
She was getting serious - her talks were less funny

That was the first time I realized it boldly
I gave her a few of grands and said times will change shortly
She was happy to see me beside her in those times
And even glad that I came to see her for the first time

I had never been to south-ex before that day
But when you feel love - he shows you ways
And after that day - the faith grew strong
Now she had my shoulder - if in case she wants

We started seeing each other almost every weekend
She was always very happy to know that troubles will end
And then she got another job at the end of the month
She was joining Globerian and that place was fun

I was feeling like a bum in my then current job
That place was very far & I hated the mob
Needed a sweet escape - I didn't want to suffer
I said I can join her only- if she prefers

She said 'it'll be very nice but you don't worry
I've been lot of trouble but now I don't want to be
So you can continue to grow like you've always been
And I want to meet you tell me what's your weekends scene'

She had to shop a little and then I was there
So our weekend was turning to be fun in the fair
I'll dropp her in her PG and then head to my home
In on my way to home - we'll be talking on phone

We'll talk about anything, just anything we like
How the skies become so blue when the time is right?
How the softness of the flowers withers, shatters in vain?
How the little sunshine makes a rainbow in rain?

That was a Saturday around 10' in the morning
She called me - we were talking about our little things
She asked me about how my folks are doing
I told her they are fine with my siblings including

That's when she got to know I had a little sister
She said she can't resist and she wanted to meet her
She said she was feeling home sick as she is all alone
I couldn't say no anyways - that'll make her morn

And I thought she's kidding about coming to see me
My home is too far and then she's not even near me
But she proved me wrong & crumbled all my fears
After 2 Hrs she called me & said Dear, I am here

She said this Auto will now take her further,
She was standing at DCE at Shahbad Daulatpur
I told my mom that my phone friend is coming
I didn't even change; I just kicked off & zoomed in

And there she was looking all neat and pretty
In an Indian attire - I Thanked god she was witty
I brought her to home, she said hello to folks
Not even Namaste, oh man she rocks

My mom was little amused and a little taken aback
She knew a bit about her but wasn't ready to act
But soon she found she's a pretty little soul
She got it all right and I was happy to fall

My mom made us lunch but she'll have no chapatti's
That's when she cooked us - some Rice that was salty
Lin like it with pickle & said she wanted to have some more
She was happy to find a family she can finally adore

And then late in the evening when she had to go
My mom said I can dropp her till taxi stand & see her off
But do you really think that's what I'd prefer
I took her all the way to her PG and there she uttered

She said 'Today I've had such a great time of my life
You are such a friend who's got all my dreams revived
I don't really like it but I know you'll have to go
Let me have a glimpse of you till next time you show'

Her voice was heavy & her eyes were wet
It was 8 in the night but then why did I sweat?
I wasn't really willing - but I had to go
She played chords of my heart but back then - I really didn't know

I left her apartment & headed to home
We were still talking, singing & laughing on phone
She'd sing me 'Wooden heart' an old Elvis song
And she'd want me to sing her Backstreet n' Boyzone.

I'd do what she says - her wish was my command
Life was a carnival that was never so grand
She healed my heart that had grown even being wounded
Coz society was there & poverty had doomed it.

The next day I noticed that there was no ease
We were talking just usual but her feelings had freeze
I was little amazed coz I had left her fine
A long pause and she claimed 'She wants to be mine'

It filled me with bliss but I didn't react
I asked her if she fine coz I'd never expect
She said that she knows what she's going to do
She said 'Its not joke, I have feelings for you.'

I was her protector and I didn't want to hurt
She'd ask me for something that was only for her
But then I also knew it'd not stay for long
Coz I am love that is bounded and she's all free to flaunt

I'd noticed that hesitance of fear in her voice
It wasn't easy for me but I told her my choice
I told her she is special a very special friend
Who deserves all my care, but I am not her Man

She heard me deny & then started to cry
I told her 'forget what you said & don't shy'
I was always your friend and I will always be
And I know you'll find someone batter then me

It's hard to see through a woman's mind
They are all kind of special and one of their kind
She said 'Thinking for you as a friend is not fine'
You mean much more to me - I wish that you find

She said she don't feel like just friends any more
And she wants me to be - 'Someone Special' for sure
She wants me to love her with all that I've got
Without worrying for end - she wanted to start

But I'd seen the end - before we'd begin
I knew she was blinded & did know - what I'd done (James Blunt: Good bye my Lover)
I told her afterward I can't see you in all the pain
I know love will suffer and die all in vain

Let's stay just friends - like we've always been
Loving those silly things - we share in between
Caring for each other - ready to die for one another
I am always there - you just don't bother

She said 'it'd never be possible to do'
Her feelings were stronger with passion to woo
She said 'love and just love that is all that I want'
I told 'for your good - it's not possible to grant'

It was getting hard for us and I didn't want to play
I told her upright - 'See, we'll have to pay'
Falling in love is a countdown to break
With a sweet girl like you - it's a risk I can't take

She was really shattered and started to cry
Saying now it's the time we should say our good byes
We can't be in love & are not friends anymore
I think we'd stop talking so take care of yours

That was first time I felt like a stone on my heart
The pain was so terrible like it'll tore me apart
My eyes were all moist - I was on my rooftop
And I knew I'd missed the love that didn't start

You can call it the first fight that we had
Coz there was more to come when the future unwrapped
It was first time we didn't' talk for whole one week
And I was trying to control but my pain was on peak

Then on Friday evening I got her first call
She asked me how I was. She knew I won't fall
She said she'd want to see me one last time
Coz I'd been so special - just one of my kind

She said it's her only wish & there is nothing to ask
I could never say no… my heart said, Alas!
I promised to see her at Sunday in Noon.
We decided no souvenirs, no gifts for our rooms.

She was new to New Delhi & wanted to see,
Some places she didn't see before- being last time with me
Even I was a country boy new to the city
But then I had to take her somewhere to some place that's pretty

The Temple of Lotus was close to her home,
Adjoining another that's known as Iskcon
And then after a day that day had arrived
I was ready to meet her - one last time with pride

So I went to my bed with her thoughts on my mind
With her glimpse I recall - like a diamond she shines
I'd never believed that we may have to shun
But then now was the time, when we were on run

Now the Sunday arrived - we had plan to meet
I decided - I won't express the thoughts in my creed
I reached her in no time on that Sunday noon
Having thought of the farewell for the girl who had loomed

In her apartment no boys were allowed
So I waited at first floor with her land lord's spouse
She came after sometime all ready to go
We headed to Nehru place & look way to Iskcon

There we were in Temple but the God's crib was closed
It was time for the lord to take a nap - Man enforced
So we sat on the fence watching people around
Who had come to enjoy and seemed happy on ground

We talked a little about here and there,
How's family, how are friends - what are recent affairs?
There was nothing unusual so we were enjoying
Spent couple of hours in the Temple and then in parking

There opposite to temple was a street food stall
We had some water-balls… yeah, Golgappe they call
We grabbed a bottle coke & headed to Baha'i
It was 4 in the afternoon and time was just right

I was walking with her and a storm inside
Coz back then I knew it was our last fight
It was possible that after that we'll never see each other
View was spectacular but I had no interest to discover

Then around 5'o clock we moved in an adjoining park
It was month of October, winter about to start
We sat and talked about just the usual stuff
I didn't want to discuss about her recent crush (that was me)

Spent few minutes on the bench that was under the shed
Then I told her let's go, sun's about to set
And that's when she asked me the question I expected
She asked me upfront - what I had decided

I hated her so much, when she asked
Coz I could not say yes, to the love of my life
I told her 'we'd decided we'll be jus friends'
She said it was my thought - that's not how she wants

She said if it's about being friends then I think it's over
You've shown enough care now let's get over
You go your way and I'll find mine
This evening is heavy and I'll take my time

She said that you leave and started to cry
There were people around, but she wasn't shy
I sat beside, hesitantly holding her shoulders
Telling her why - I don't want' to love her

I had my logics and started to explain
Though we are good friends but do you think we have chance?
You are a north eastern beauty and I am an ordinary fool
In your mind you too, know that - the world out there is cruel

We may not succeed in this voyage of love
This journey may end any time when it's rough
And I also doubt if my folks would agree for you
She said 'I know even mine won't do'

When you chose to choose the road that's traveled less
There are changes that you may not know what's next
There are more leaps, bounce, thorns and obstacles
There is a feeling… yes I did, but sometimes cost is fetal

And our conversation - like that continued to grow
She was still sobbing, tears rolling, still had a passion to woo
She had rejected to accompany me as a friend any more
I could also not leave her in that place all alone

And then she said something that just turned my mind
This was first of those three things she said - that shaped my life
It was something to do with the passion of love
It was more of her victory, valorous she was.

She said loving you, just happened, it's not by choice
I've tried to be sane and you make me rejoice
I don't know how you say that your logic is vague
I know you, you love me, then why do you fake?

Then she said that first thing, that turned me inside-out
It forced me to move with her, even with my doubts
She said life asks for little price to raise you above
'If everyone thinks like you then no one would love'

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