My Haikus generally do not follow the traditional Japanese system of 17 syllables and often times they do not have a 'cutting line'. I believe that Japanese and English are two separate languages hence syllable counts on our Haikus do not need to tally with their 17 'on' or 17 'morae' count. Besides, according to Wikipedia, ' Modern Japanese haiku (現代俳句 gendai-haiku?) are increasingly unlikely to follow the tradition of 17 on or to take nature as their subject'.
My Haikus are anecdotal and try not to come to a conclusion. They generally express an opinion in its barest necessity. One might categorize them as micropoetry in general if it bothers them too much. My deviation emphasizes on making sense and content, not just dry humping on form. Cheers!
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A great start with a nice haiku. I think it a very meaningful poem. You may like to read my ars poetica named as (Poetic Sense-1) Thanks