The Comfort Of War Poem by Alex Cairnie

The night plays tricks on tired minds, and makes me think of home
I imagine I am somewhere else, not here not on my own
Though I am surrounded, I do not know these men
Lumped together, made to fight, and never knowing when

I was not a soldier, I just came to join the ranks
No one mentioned dying, and no one mentioned tanks
I haven't met a single man who wanted this to be
Not one of us across the line, hated anyone of thee
We were boys the same as them, not a crossed word had we shared
But we would end each day the same and act like no one cared

I never had a problem, with any friend or foe
I was ordered here by someone else, tooled up and told to go
It was never my intention, to kill another soul
But it happened still, against my will, and left an empty hole
And each face I remember, some were young and some were old
But it never made me riches, and it never brought me gold

I learned to hate authority, I learned to hate the cause
I realised it wasn't true, and it magnified our flaws
I could not find a reason, to go to war at all
Not a single word to justify, the number that did fall
I only knew the basics, it wasn't best to ask
Just here to follow orders, not to question of the task
So I did my best to stay alive and to never duck my head
As left and right and all around, my mates were dropping dead

Separated past the forward lines, loneliness warmed me
And whispers broke the silent night, where deathly shadows be
There was frost all around and stars shone bright, leaving diamond glints on frozen ground
I sit here alone just me on my own, with the comfort of war I am bound

If I die here tonight do not grieve for me, nor bow your head to cry
I came here of my own choice, at least I had to try
But this war can't be won today, tomorrow or next week
And even if we lose the lot, more fodder they will seek

War and all its hurt I craved, this end I've always known
And now that I am dying, no more I feel alone
I lay alone with emptiness, Just my final fading breath
Surrounded by the silent night no more
Do I fear death
And when the battles over, when they ask what was it for
I'll say I never found the answer
but found a comfort in this war

No fear for me, no tears to shed, the end I always knew
From something deeper driving me my path was always true
And even here I know my time on this fair earth is up
I sit here with my enemy, and drink from the same cup
And in the end the curtain falls, im back where I began
With my old friend the emptiness, and me the empty man


AC