The Constant Cry Against Sin: Called For Holiness Poem by Christen Kuikoua

I am a Christian, yet I wrestle daily.
Men say, "Remove what makes you fall, "
and they speak wisely.

But Oh, Lord you see me.
You see the war within me
For I delight in Your law in my inward being,
Yet another law wages war in my members.
I cannot blame my environment,
For the battlefield is my mind.
I cannot excuse my fall,
For I know your truth.
Your Word says,
"The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
And here I stand willing, yet weak.

I have no defense to offer.
No excuse to present.
For I know the truth
and it convicts me.
I know my falls.
I know my cravings.
I know my addiction
I know it by name.

O Lord, hear me.
Help me. Help me. Help me.
I love You deeply,
yet my falling makes distance between you and I
What I once feared,
I have grown familiar with.
And I tremble,
for I fear I have leaned too casually upon Your grace.

Lord, I am trying.
But how heavy is the flesh
that it resists the spirit that longs for You?
From a place of darkness I cry
Will You hear me, O Lord?
Will You rescue me, O God of David?
Will You break these chains that I have both hated and embraced?

For What I once rejected,
I have now held close.
The sin I fought
has become my comfort.
Like a child with a teddy bear,
I cling to what destroys and wounds me.
I hug what is killing me.

God, hear me.
Hear me from the place sin has dragged me into.
Lift me from the dust I once craved.
For I long to serve You
but how can the lost lead himself home?
I am in desperate need of You.

Hear me beyond my many repeated "I'm sorry."
Save me from the judgment I have pronounced upon myself.
Remove from me the love of sin.
Teach my heart to hate what separates me from You.
Help me to crucify it daily
until holiness is no longer an effort
but my nature in You.

Revive me from the debt of my own desires.
Cultivate in me the desire to desire You.
Let me love you so much
as a bridegroom loves his bride

Let me love You so deeply
that what You hate becomes unbearable to me.
Let me love You so purely
that my eyes close to what defiles my body and spirit.
Let me love You so fully
that I cannot look away from You.
Teach me to behold You so clearly
That sin loses its flavor.

O God Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,
do not leave me to myself.
For if You withdraw Your hand,
I will not fulfill my written destiny.
Hear me from the multitude of my many repeated 'Am sorry'
For Without You, I fall.

I am not ashamed to bear the name Christian.
I choose you publicly therefore
this is why I confess publicly for the world to see
that I am not ashamed of the gospel,
because it is the power of God
that brings salvation to everyone who believes
But I am ashamed
that after choosing You,
I still wrestle with pride, lust and its vices

Lord, save me.
For You are not surprised by my struggle.
Have mercy upon me.
Let not my future generation inherit
the consequences of my weakness.
Oh God Pardon my multitude of sin.
The known and the unknowns
Write my name firmly in the Book of Life.
Let me and my generation
praise and bless Your holy name forever.

Amen.