The Demon Within Poem by Beautiful Mistake

The voice of doubt is constantly whispering in my ear
telling me I've got no one to trust
and everything to fear
The cold fingers of death await me
in the depths of solitude
Alone. and weakness comes only to tempt
'go ahead, destroy yourself, what've you got to lose? '
your words, your shouts
make the demon stir
nestled deep within me, now searching for a way out
through my own eyes he sees
the tools for his escape
he sits devilishly
all he has to do is wait
he guides my hand to the bottle
lifting 10 advils
leading them to my mouth
'not enough' he screams, so I pop 20 more pills
alone in my room
I hear his yells
to his rage i've become numb
I go to my stash of alcohol
the demon whispers
'just a few bottles is all'
I down a few bottles
throw in some vodka shots
the burning sensation is over
and it's becoming hard to talk
I feel elated and happy
you yell and I laugh
but deep down I know it shouldn't be funny
I'm sick of this cycle
stuck in a world I hate
I reach for the handle on the nightstand
bring out carefully the shard of glass
this time my demon isn't guiding my hand
I press it to the unbroken skin in my wrist
how the pulsing crimson
clouds my mind, confusing it with bliss
a calm rushes over me
but I press harder
cut deeper
I want the demon gone
he escapes in arterial flow
but I know he'll be back
again.



January 22,2009