The Essential Sacredness Of This Heart Poem by James Darwin Smith II

The essential sacredness of this heart
Beating with so much pain
A virtue of past lesser worth
Doing all of my best to throw it all away



Tired of all of the self-doubt
The many years of looking down
Towards myself
Thinking I never deserved the best



As the years pass
Always strived to be stronger each day
Yet, The battles still remain
Trying to wash all the pain away



So many wasted opportunities
Tears wasted washing away
Into private a whirlwind
Spinning everywhere but up
Only to fall down when all the tiredness sank in



Regrets, I have many
Of things I never did
Lacking participation
Fear always crept in
Staying strong
Creating havoc with these thoughts



I have hid many tears
Because this pride wanted no one to know
This weakness hidden
Started living inside myself
More and more and more



It is so hard
To get out from being stuck within
But today I try and try
To become something no one has ever seen before



To feel ugly
Is self-betrayal
Creating wars
That never needed to be created
Burying self to the uncertainty of tomorrow



But here I am
Trying to give credit
Towards a higher learning
Of where I am now as a whole



So many times rejected
But I suppose it was all meant to be
Still. Feeling the shrapnel's of cold shoulders
Icy doubt upon my own viewing



But here I am
I must be stronger to of survived
Weathered all the storm
To become stronger than ever
That is what I must convince myself, anyways



I am still young
At heart and so on
This spirit must journey
Far beyond as it has ever been before



Do you see me?
I am a blur to the naked eyes
Catch me if you can
I am so full of surprises



Slow me down
Take everything all in
I am no longer a shadow
But the form of something bright
In lit form of the sun
I keep dreaming will shine again



Still. This pain has not gone all away
This heart beats with passion
Living for the day it can beat in beauty's reign



Who am I a stranger?
A homeward bound entity
With phantom passage as my call to fame
So be it
Life is better this way
Or is it?



Could things be better if contradicted?
Maybe so

No matter where I go
I will be real to the form
Of whom I am as a whole


The essence of the heart
Beats in enigmatic form
In the future I shall be completed
But for now, I walk alone


In this deep perspective
Retrospective you could say
I have come to find out
Life is better if unpredictable
I want to lead myself into a greater astray



Accept these flaws
As a gift of who I am today
Never ashamed or guilty
Surviving, living life my own way



The essential sacredness of this heart
Beats in so many different ways
Which path will they all lead me?
I suppose the beauty of it all
Is that I cannot say



This I must treasure beyond today
For the next day is never promised
As the old saying says



I am an articulate savant
Of not knowing anything
That shall always come this way



In other words I am an apprentice of life
And I would not have it any other way



The essential sacredness of this heart
Is truly the beginning
Of better days ahead



This should and always shall be conveyed
Always and forever to beyond
Anything that could have ever been said


Or read?