The Fight Within' Poem by Jeanette Vanity

I look at you with fear in my eyes
Your voice is whispering to me
But I refuse to listen
Your feeding me words that cause me pain
I yell to stop but you still go on.
Ranting about how useless I am
How I’m better off dead and everyone will be happier without me!
I deny you but you just laugh.

I stand there pulling at my hair as I listen to you
Why won’t this just go away?
I wish you will leave me alone already!
Your words are like poison to me.
Once received it slowly finds its way through
And soon, once it consumed every bit of me,
I’m dead.
But honestly, that sounds better then having to listen to you.
You’re torturing me with your words
And that’s the worse thing you could ever do to a person.

Do you feel happiness when you see me this way?
Do you get a thrill everytime I scream?
Does this get your heart racing and get you eager to see what happens next?
I would imagine it does
Why else would you do it?

I grip the blade you caused me to have such an attachment too
I feel a sense of déjà vu
Almost like this happened before.
Oh wait, it has.
This whole situation has been going on for days!
Everyday I’m standing here with you and you say the same things
Over and over again!
You cause me to do this to myself.
All these scars that lay on my arms
Are just a sick reminder of what you make me believe.

I look at you with fear in my eyes
But you’re not back looking at me
You’re looking at the blood that now runs across my skin.
Once again this happened
Even though I told myself to be strong
You broke me once again.
I hate you.
I hate you and everything you have done to me!

Looking at you makes me sick
But you're always there.
Where ever I am,
There you are.
You're like a shadow
And you're trying to swallow me into your darkness.
While I'm screaming for help
You make everything seem okay.
There's no way to stop you
Because you are me.
And as frightening as it is,
I am you as well.