The Greenhouse That Blew Away Poem by Paul Reed

Doing my best to follow the directions
I joined together all the plastic connections
I covered it over in pvc sheeting
As a work of art it took some beating

I anchored it down with metal hooks
By now I was getting some funny looks
Undeterred, on went the guy ropes, nice and tight
I have to admit, it was a beautiful sight!

It looked lovely there, glinting in the sun
But I knew deep down my work wasn't done
Because a slight breeze had just arisen
Which might detach the mainsail from the mizzen

So, with trepidation, I went indoors
And noticed in the instructions the disclaimer clause
'This greenhouse will stand up to all sorts of weather
Except strong winds as it's light as a feather'

The breeze started to become a bit stronger
The guy ropes seemed to be getting a bit longer
The frame was easing right, then left, then right again
As the winds blew harder and it started to rain

The plastic sheeting was taken a battering
Billowing in the gales and under the rain's spattering
Then, all of a sudden, one of the guy ropes lifted
And across the garden the greenhouse drifted

It rose quite gracefully, a bit like a bird
As it cleared the fence, and the latest I've heard
It was spotted over Glasgow at three thousand feet
My wonderful greenhouse, and three bags of peat