The Legend Of The Millipede Poem by Bryan Taplits

The millipede shook his legs-
And-for having 600- this was hard to do-
For sometimes he shook them a bit too hard
And then a charley horse accrued.

And, sometimes, the legs were at odds
Which left this bug bereft,
For-at times- his many left legs wanted to go right
And the right ones wanted to go left.

At these times the millipede was baffled
at exactly what he should do
So he tried to stamp them out of their slumber.
(He couldn't make any 9-1-1 emergency calls-because, although he had many legs-he had no fingers.
Also, though he wanted to call-
Being a millipede-
he couldn't remember that 9-1-1 number.)

One sunny day while urging his legs on
He thought he heard a crunch.
The sound he heard-
and with the millipede model he was-
unfortunately, for him-
He diagnosed
as some kind of impediment in his clutch.

He tried again to get the right legs to go left-
But still they wouldn't budge.
And the left legs he wanted to go right
And though there was movement-
There still wasn't much.

And all the day he huffed and puffed
Repeatedly trying 'to press to the metal.'
But it was no use;
His body seemed less like a engine
and more just like a caboose
And his legs, they just wouldn't click.
No 'get up and go'
No 'on with the show'
Not even a little
leg flick.

So he went on his way
through the day
And then into the night.
A singular and hungry bug
Who now feared at this peckish plight.

And so this is what happened
With his seemingly foregone and famished fate.
Although the millipede was starving to death-
'Hark! ' it still isn't too late.

First, the left legs started go right
And the ones on the right began leftward to quake-
But, unfortunately,
Our multi-pedalled millipede never knew of this-
of his untoward but predictable fate.

And so all he could eventually do was wait.
And though he could not move his legs-
He would remember to recall that his recent dilatory progress
should not-for this date-
make him late.

(His last thoughts were-in this tale of nature abuse: "I wonder who I can sue? ")

And so that was our millipede's end,
my friend-
And so it also is the end
of his saga,
too.