The Magic Bed Poem by matthew harris

Written November 7th,2017
when another (anointed as lucky lady)
resident renter bequeathed her bed
prior to that unexpected altruistic cred
good samaritan deed thyself and spouse
slept on the floor like dogs dead
tired from another day
acclimatizing ourselves,
especially when tummies got well fed
and grudging adjustment lying
supine upon the carpet
did upon arising

found aches and pains from head
to toes, yet financial shortcomings
disallowed this Jed
eye wannabe to defer
attending domestic chores,
cuz ma whole body felt like a Led
Zeppelin, and matter of fact oft times,
thy body electric, though lacked
no evidence of disease NED
for short, I near felt a need
to relearn basic motor skills,

gingerly, and eagerly
reached for performance
enhancing drug i.e. PED
which coded identification
exemplified the a rich color of red
this (and other) prescription medication
about a half dozen total
found me to sleep akin to a Ted
dee bear, many instances of snoring
thine wife claimed emanated -
probably no more than when we wed.

If memory serves me correctly
now twenty seven plus years
a husband aye attest,
and find peace of body,
mind and spirit
most exuberant and best
cherished, when hen pecking wife
(yup, this husband
got pecking, pock,
puck size marks to vouchsafe

his sworn statement)
some visible on my slightly
flabby and hairless chest
and if moles on me back traced
with a ballpoint pen, the shape
loosely resembles mount Everest
with evidence of what
appears to be erosion,
but actually evidence
of wifely cannibalism -

viz zit on par
as with an unwanted guest
which at first found
this pop (sic) hull averse
to share the same
firm mattress lest
she arise like
a flesh eating zombie during
wee willy weber hours
of the morning and taking nest

ling to another level,
whereby teeth and scratch marks
sure testament asper a pest
stiff ferrous mate, this husband
would sooner bid adieu,
letting fate guide terrestrial quest
that might incorporate undergoing the
electric kool aid acid test
perhaps buffeting this
corporeal essence north west

or maybe the unforeseen
sojourn would spirit thyself
to a distant alien nation
one where each day
of soundness of mental, physical
and spiritual growth
will be reason enough
to celebrate with élan and zest.

Now tis one upside to this stroke
when with restfulness
awake after nocturnally
conjuring androids that dream
of electric sheep and lil bo peep
yet, no ambition exists to get down and out
from this posh plush place to sleep
even wild horses
cant drag me away, lest hie weep.