The Most Beautiful Bride I Will Never Have Poem by MD Ehteshaam Amman

— A Poetry by MD Ehteshaam Amman

She will be beautiful, I know she will, Like the moon that makes the night stand still. With eyes that hold a thousand skies, And a little universe behind her eyes.

She'll wear a dress I'll never choose, A shade of white I'll never get to lose. Her hands will tremble, her cheeks will glow, And someone else will whisper, "Shall we go? "

She'll walk beneath a thousand lights, While I'll be somewhere, fighting my nights. The world will call her someone's queen, And I'll mourn a life that might have been.

I wonder how she'll tie her hair, If she'll wear jasmine, if she'll care About the little things I'd notice most— The tiny smile, the blush she'd try to hide from the host.

I wonder if she'll laugh too loud, Or feel like a princess beneath that crowd. If she'll look at him the way I dreamed, Like he's the answer to every prayer she's screamed.

And God, forgive me for wishing this pain— But sometimes I hope it will softly rain. Not enough to ruin her perfect day, Just enough to blur what I cannot say.

Because somewhere, in a world I'll never see, There's a version of her who could've been with me. A version where I'm fixing her veil, Where my shaking hands and brave heart fail.

Where I look at her and forget how to breathe, Where she holds my hand and promises to never leave. Where I call her "my wife" for the very first time, And she calls me "her home"—and I call her mine.

But dreams are cruel in the gentlest ways, They give you forever in imaginary days. And sometimes the heart falls deeply in love With a blessing it can only watch from above.

So I'll never know how her wedding perfume smells, Or how her laughter would echo through our little walls. I'll never see her asleep beside me at night, Or hold her close when the world doesn't feel right.

I'll never be the reason she wears that ring, Never hear her voice when the wedding bells sing. Never wipe her tears when the ceremonies end, Never be her lover, her husband, her best friend.

And yet, I think I'll love her somehow— Not as my future, but as my unspoken vow. Not by holding her hand or calling her mine, But by wishing her happiness, even when it isn't intertwined with mine.

I hope he notices the things no one sees, The way she gets quiet, the way she says please. I hope he remembers her favourite song, And holds her a little tighter when something goes wrong.

I hope he kisses her forehead when she's tired, Keeps every promise her heart has desired. I hope she never has to beg to be loved, And never feels lonely with the one she dreamed of.

Because if I cannot give her the world I planned, I hope someone else gives her a life just as grand. If I cannot be the home where her heart rests, I hope she finds peace in someone else's chest.

And on her wedding day, if my heart should break, I'll smile for the happiness her new life will make. I'll bury the "what ifs" somewhere deep inside, And let the most beautiful woman I never had become somebody else's bride.

Maybe in another lifetime, under another sky, She'll be the girl who never says goodbye. Maybe there, our stars will finally align, And the wedding bells will ring for yours and mine.

But in this lifetime, I'll learn to let go, Even if my heart is the last one to know. For some people are blessings we aren't meant to keep, Some names are the ones we whisper in sleep.

And if anyone asks what broke me inside, I'll tell them about a girl who was never my bride. A girl I never kissed, never held, never knew…

Yet somehow, she became the most beautiful bride I will never have.

And the saddest part isn't that she won't be mine.

It's that somewhere, on the happiest day of her life, I'll be wishing I were the man standing beside her…

while praying to God that the man who is loves her more beautifully than I ever could. 🥀