The Night I Craved For Death Poem by Hal Emmerich

My heart has stopped,
My mind is dead,
I'm out of breath.
Tonight, here, and now,
I crave for death.

Great pain it is to live in misery,
But greater still the pain to live
Miserably in happiness.
Tonight, here, and now,
I declare that I'm sick of sadness.

If that's what it takes to live,
To hear and bear everything,
If that's what life is,
Tonight, here, and now,
I crave for my decease.

Happiness is for me to miss,
And here I've come to believe
That ignorance is bliss.
Tonight, here, and now, O Angel of Death,
Grant me the goodbye kiss.

Had it not been Hell where I would go,
I would have taken my life long ago.
But since that is a sin,
And enough of sin I hold within,
That risk I cannot take.
So tonight, here, and now,
I crave for one last break.

Eternal pains for me remain,
A life full of sadness,
An afterlife full of pain.
If I cannot die, then tonight, here, and now,
I crave to be insane.

For sanity blocks the path of happiness.
Only the insane are free from pain.
Pain is what you drink,
And pain is what you eat.
So tonight, here, and now,
I crave for my death-seat.

Life, life, o filthy life,
How can anyone revel in your pleasures?
How can people smile, or even laugh,
When part of you is misery,
And sadness the other half?

I cry to the music,
I cry and cry.
I have to live in this world,
But I don't know how and why.
So tonight, here, and now,
I pray my death be nigh.

For me the world has no place.
In his eyes, and hers,
In the eyes of everyone,
I'm falling out of grace.

My heart is dead,
I'm out of breath,
Tonight, here, and now,
I crave for death.

(Written in March 2007 in a terrible spiritual condition)