The Old Gender Bender Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

This 'poem' is actually totally and completely true and really happened to me a few years ago. I still laugh just thinking about it. Wicked really.

I once bought a load of LPs
That I saw ad-vert-ised on eBay
With my purchase I was very pleased
It had been a very good day

I started to look through these discs
And suddenly started to laugh
Because I came upon this:
A letter with a photo-graph

The letter said “This one is me
Looking the best that I can
I think I look good, you’ll agree
For a guy who’s now a wo-man”

“My chest is not very big
About 34B I suppose
I wear false teeth and a wig
But I’m not too bad, as it goes”

“I hope you will want to write back
Enclosing your own photographs
Maybe we can meet for a snack
And possibly share a few laughs”

I recognised this guy from the pics
He used to clear out our drains
Back then he was seventy six
And crippled with rheumatic pains

He always had a damp fag
Clamped onto his lower lip
His skin was in permanent sag
His clothes came out of a skip

I laughed and laughed till I ached
To see this guy in a dress
Then I could see my mistake
It was more sad than funny I guess

copyright Victoria George