The Quality Street Tin Conundrum! Poem by Denis Martindale

Though Christmas was just days away, a special treat, I got!
A tin of sweets! Should I delay? Or quickly scoff the lot?
Temptation grew each passing hour! Could I hold out for long?
Did I possess some greater power? Would I be weak or strong?
Must I hide sweets in the attic? Or in the garden shed?
Or eat them all? And then be sick? Alone at home in bed?
Or give that tin to someone else? Intact, unopened still?
Avoiding different chocolate smells that always brought a thrill?

Suffice to say I kept them all, each with its wrapper on,
Until, at last, no cause to stall, once Christmas Eve had gone.
One minute after midnight came! Thank God for Christmas Day!
I scoffed a dozen without shame then put the rest away.
Nobody came to visit me so in the afternoon,
I ate another twenty-three, quite slowly, not too soon.
I watched the telly on my own, contented at my feast,
Despite my belly, which had grown, another pound at least.

When I saw my belly button had dropped an inch or two,
I confessed I was a glutton, yet that was nothing new.
I'd been a naughty so-and-so, but learnt from my mistake,
And with that lesson there to know, ignored my Christmas cake.
But at the weekend that had gone, and all sweets left as well,
The empty tin now brightly shone, no more to cast its spell.
I know my weight won't stay the same with no treats left about!
My clothes won't fit my shrinking frame yet my teeth won't fall out!

I'll diet so that I lose weight! No tiny treats for me!
Until that day, I celebrate to weigh what I should be!
Next year, I'll pace myself for sure, just one sweet now and then,
Instead of two, or three, or four, or seven, eight, nine, ten!


Denis Martindale. December 2020.