The Right Time... Poem by grace mariner

Its's too much pain to carry.
I need the load lightened but I don't know how.
You must go and live your happy life.
I must stay and forever miss you.
There will be no other, you know.
It makes my heart bleed to let you go.
I only want you baby but you can't be mine.
I have tried to burn the image of your face into my mind so I can see you now and again.
I have tried to capture the feel of my arm, draped across your chest so I can feel you now and again.
I have tried to memorize the echo of your damaged heart beating in my ear as my head rests against your chest so I can be comforted now and again.
And the sharks will smell the scent of that blood from a broken, bleeding heart but they cannot consume me.
I will see no other.
I will feel no other.
I will hear no other.
My Master will always carry the bigger part of my broken heart with him, where ever he goes.
No shark will ever know that part of me because it goes with you.
I have never known this level of sadness...or love.
I am so lost!
I am so afraid!
I don't know how to do this!
Did this come from God or somewhere else?
I don't know.
The love I feel for you is pure and sweet and untarnished.
But its passing in a moments time is cruel, dark, and contaminated.
To be thrown at me in the midst of chaos and turmoil is unthinkable
But I guess there is no right time for pain is there.