The Sky. Poem by Max K

Once again I'm sitting alone
On my bed.
I decide to ghost
Everyone and everything.
I need time
I need time alone
To process
To think
To talk
But not with anyone
But to the moon
And the sky
And the stars.
You might be wondering
What is it that your are processing
What are you thinking about
Or are you talking about?
Shouldn't you be enjoying life while you can?
I mean your only thirteen
It's true, I am young.
But my mind always wonders.
I can't help but think
What if he was still here?
What if it was my fault?
What if I was the issue?
Maybe it's all because of me.
Or maybe not.
It's okay he may have left
But I can tell you what hasn't
Not who but what?
My Scars
My Trauma
My Issues
The Moon
The Sky
The Stars
My Blades
My Depression
My Anxiety
The Water I use to purge
The Drugs I use to take.
And really they arent all that negitive.
People always assume that everything i do takes a toll on my health
But it's not true
Not at all.
If anything it has a positive effect on me
Although i don't have my own personality
I can always take on yours
Although i don't have anyone to vent to
I will always be your person
Although i'm not anyones favorite person
You will always be mine.
Although i don't have any support
I'm always here for you.
Although i have thought that not many can help me suppress
I'm always here to help you suppress yours.
If i die, it's not your fault.
It's never your fault.
Just look at the sky
Look at the stars
Look at the moon
Look at the drugs
Or the blades
Thats how i will come back.
No matter what i will always love you
No matter my mental state, your is more important.
No matter what mediocare life i have
Shouldnt effect you and how you live.
I don't go to people with this s*it because i'm scared
I'm scared you will break me
Make fun of me
Laugh
Gossip
I never know.
I'm broken, truly broken.
There is no hope for me
But there is for you.
You are such an amazing person, but i still cant trust you.
Why?
Was it him?
Was it her?
Was it me?
Was it family?
Was it my so called friends?
Or was it you?
Just make sure that if you ever need me to look at the sky.