The Things You Can Do With Your Fingers Poem by Kevin Patrick

Gently tap them on a desk
To generate a beat
Or glide smoothly on a leg
For cheap giggles on a knee
Apply the index and the middle
To show its victory and peace
Just don't follow tricky Dickie
When you're hopping on your feet

Give the middle an ovation
For an insular salute
Or cancel out the peace sign
With a definite screw you
Show your street cred as a geek
Proposing live long and prosper
While everyone is laughing
At how you still live with mother


Make love or war
With the sing of a cross
Combine to form a prayer
Before duplicitous results
Hold them up to your face
With a shock of "oh my"
Or hold one to your lip
Inferring 'shut up'

You can lick them
and wiggle em
and make them do
Brusque nods
Bend them, or
compile them
while peeling
Doleful spuds

Touch the branch
of any tree
Or a mountain
of autumn leafs
Raise and conceal
, after you make
A big sneeze
Cover the tips
in layers of
finger paint
Or slip the nails
with some polish
for a really hot date


Stroke kittens or puppies
Or strangle some yuppies
Use for play in permafrost
After delousing house dust
Get the feel of any food
Or certain ways in the bedroom
With the right party you're always s winner
Employing the use of your fidgety finger


There's even a whole language
that involves your every finger
To say "hello" or "goodbye"
And now it's time to pay taxes
Lock the index and the pinky
To ward off evils villainy
Raise the thumbs up or down
For satisfied gluttony


Yes, we're the cream of the crop
With opposable thumbs
An improvement on the primates
Who can't hitchhike to Guam
Socrates had them,
So did President Lincoln
Boris Yeltsin had 8
But still kicked ass with a Kalashnikov
Fingers are fun, fascinating and strong
But don't stick them in blades
when mowing the lawn



If you're missing one
and still have nine
Or if you're missing nine
and only have one
There's still a lot you can do
With only a finger
Sticking it where sun
Shines the day always merrier
The things you can do with your fingers
Are purely the joys of physical creation