Shayna Butcher

Rookie (August 10,1990 / Port Angeles, WA)

The Truth Behind Your Lies - Poem by Shayna Butcher

Slowly and without warning
My whole world was changing.
Day became night
And night became day.
I remember just staring
Wash away all this ugliness
One punch
A mirror breaks
The reflection is lost.
Frustrated I had become
I had once heard that
Anger can make one blind.
So I turned it into fear and pain.
Longing to be left in solitude alone
Waiting for that moment
That perfect time and place
Finally being able to tell you what I was really thinking.
It was harder than you'll ever know.
Because this human heart-mine alone
Misunderstood and unknown
But inside me thriving
Was love you'd never know.
On the verge of true confession
I kept quiet so to not hurt you.
Yet those silent words
No one could hear…
Killed you slowly
I hated where I was
It wasn't fair…I did nothing
To show you how I felt
It was like cutting into water that was dry.
Pointless and yet disturbing.
I came to find that words left unspoken
Were the ones that hurt the most.
The cut you down…to nothing again.
I couldn't handle it.
I was bleeding
I was screaming
I was emotionally dead
Oh god…
I was waiting for you to come find me,
And Wake me from this daze
Was the grass really greener?
Your touch would pull me in
Please I begged
Forget about her.
Hold me in your arms
And take me now
'cause I know we'll be safe together
Even in the light of day.
My hand is yours forever
I'm sure you'll love it this way.
But I told myself no
I repeated
Me? I couldn't be…
To myself
I was lying
I was dying
I was crying inside
I couldn't stop
I was lost
I was found
I was hurting.
Until I realized…
It was you I longed for
So I finally decided
To take a stand for myself.
Now you're all I think about.
Silent conversations
Held between our eyes.
You hold out your hands
So welcome and inviting
I can't help but take them.
Embraced.
Hair so silky soft.
You let me run my fingers through it.
You're warm breath on my neck,
Is like nothing I've ever felt.
Touch me softly
It's hard to breath because the air is thin.
You like it…I like it….
It's as perfect as can be.
Let me stare at you
You're perfect.
When I'm with you
Nothing can harm me
I forget the world around me.
These lips, my heart, my touch
All of it is yours
And always will be.
Keep it them close and safe
And never let them go.
I try to relax…
Yet in my dreams
My fears are reflected..
Hold me close
Tell me you're here..
My confidence is restored
And everything turns calm.
Let me just lay here with you.
No bullshit included.
I'm sorry…
Please forgive me
You created these things…
I'm sorry I took them so seriously…
I grew on them.
They consumed all my thoughts.
Never once have I been mad.
Especially now that I know
the truth behind the lies.
I love you so much
You mean the world to me.
I'm sorry I hurt you….
And continue to hurt you
But right now.
I'm in need of a place
Filled with memories so sweet
(we have yet to create)
and all of this is 110% real


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Poem Submitted: Friday, April 4, 2008



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