This Endless Routine Poem by spencer tye

This is somewhat about how I have this fear of falling asleep because of my constant nightmares. This is an odd way to compile transitions I know but it was the best way I could come up with, think of the periods as transitions from either the beginning being awake to sleep, the middle a dream to another dream, and the end waking up.
I'm sure you'll catch on once you read........

There's a man in my mind,
I don't know his name.
This man in my mind,
well he likes to play games.
I stay up all night,
to keep him at bay.
Because if I should fall asleep,
he comes out to play.
It's been far to long,
since I was safe in my bed.
He doesn't play nice,
this man in my head.
Just when I think,
that I've seen it all.
He shows me just how much,
further I can fall.
Will I die tonight?
I hope the pain remains slight,
maybe this night I'll be alright.
After all, he's just me,
and am I really capable of doing this to myself?
For now I guess goodnight.........
.........
.........
This feeling of fear.
Where am i?
There's ringing in my ears.
'Is anyone out there? '
'Am I the only one here? '
Where the hell am I?
why is it so dark?
I'm outside,
but wheres the sky?
It's like I can reach out
and walk about,
and I can certainly shout.
But where is everyone?
I'm not at all where I should be.
Is that a figure in the distance?
I think I can make it out,
just barely.
Odd....
My muscles start to ache.
I look down at my knees.
Why do they shake?
That shape in the distance,
I think its getting clearer,
I think I'm not alone,
I think its getting nearer.
I'm sure now,
I can make out a face.
Am I losing my balance?
Am I losing my base?
I fall to my knees,
everything's in pain.
This ringing in my head,
it's gonna drive me insane.
I can see him now.
Why is he here?
He's getting so close,
this pain's so severe.
'Can someone please help me! '
is all I can say.
If I could only get up,
I might get away.
He kneels down in front of me,
smiles,
all the while,
I'm dying inside.
I close my eyes.
This is just a guise.
I cant believe I'm here,
I cant believe these lies..............
...........
...........
No more pain. I open my eyes and there she is.

'Its all better now, ' she assures me.

'But how are you here? ', I ask.

'Well... your dreaming', she says. 'But that's ok, cause i'm here now.'

'Why do I still love you? ', I ask her.

'Danged if I know, ' she laughs. 'Maybe you're just messed up? All I know is

I'm here now, and I'm going to make everything better. And once your dead

you can wake up. But don't worry, I'll see you again tomorrow night, and the

night after that, and the night after that, ' she smirks, counting off

imaginary days with her fingers.

I ask her, 'will this ever end? '
'Will I ever be fine again? '

She smiles and says, 'don't worry yourself with the future, embrace the now.

And right now, I have your medicine.' she takes out that blade of hers. I

sigh. 'Hey now, ' she says, 'I would have thought you'd be used to this by

now.'

'I am, ' I respond lazily. 'I'm just so tired of this routine'

She puts the blade to my chest. 'Well you'll feel better in a bit. Just

relax, it will all be over soon.'
I smile and a tear rolls down the side of my face just as slowly as the

blade sinks into my heart.

'There, hows that feel? ' she asks. 'Doesn't that show you just what my love

for you is? '

'Ya, it hurts, ' i say wincing, 'but it's ok. As long as you stay here with

me, I don't mind the pain.'

She smiles, 'I'll always be here, waiting for you.' I feel myself start to

slip away. 'It's time for you to wake up now Spencer.'

'I love you, ' i say grogily.

she puts a hand on my shoulder and kisses me lightly and says, 'that's

nice.'
.........
.......
.......
Then I wake up.
Alive again,
to live another day.
Just to fall asleep,
and meet another end.