This Pain I Feel Poem by Camille Jones

can’t keep going on
with all these thoughts
all these temptations
the thought keep coming to the surface
keeps pressing its way to the edge
I’m going crack
the rain keeps falling
harder than it ever has before
they think I’m so happy
but its just fake
can’t keep being so fake
everyone thinks I’m so fine
but inside I’m dieing oh so fast
these scars are the only sign
the only way you can tell
why do you do this to me
I use to be so happy
these new people came into my life so fast
thought it was so good
but no its harder than it ever has been
so hard to keep afloat
in this ocean of fear
I’ve changed so much
this drowning has changed me so much
I thought it was so good
but I’ve just become this monster
a monster of suicide and fear
even when I’m so sure of what I want
I’m so wrong
even when I get what I think makes me happy
I still stay awake crying
I don’t talk much these days
I just try and sleep away the pain
can anyone help me
I know someone somewhere can safe me
but they don’t
they just watch me drown
about to give up
about to just breath in the water
about to breath my last breath of air
no longer can I go on
this fear
this pain
has taken over me
no one knows how truly unhappy I am
can’t it all just end
just let the water fill my lungs
let the fear take over
and end it all