Thoughts At Night Poem by Richmon Rey Jundis

Idly, I lay my back on my fuzzy warm blue bed,
Bereft by the fact that everything will end soon,
End in a way too swift and in a way, I don't want
As the night's cool breeze runs through my skin,
And the sadness that's too deep within
That my eyes can no longer shed tears.

The cicadas are starting to sing too early,
It's still September, and October is still days far.
Is this how the nature consoles this lonely soul?
Why does it need to leave an imprint of sounds
That I know my ears will miss extremely bad?
Telling me that this might be the last period of time
To savor this place as what I am now.

The room is filled with tiny soft snores
Of the people I use to know
But soon will leave me in a way that I don't know
A single trace of their identity.
The humming of the dusted ceiling and stand fans
Are keeping my eyes wide awake,
Tempting me to turn them off,
But a thread of thought whisper to me:
"You'll miss them, too."
My subconscious replied:
"But they will not! "

How I wish to desert this place
In positive way, to leave people with good memories,
With good things that I can teach them,
But something is stopping me.
Another whisper I heard:
"It's your fear of not being loved back, Mon! "
And my subconscious responded bluntly
As I hug my warm blue pillow, adorned with cats:
"Is it my fault to seek love in return? "