Thoughts On Watching Helplessly As His Ten Year Old Daughter Screams Hysterically At Her I-Pad As The Mansion She's Just Spent Hours Building On Minecraft Bursts Into Flame Poem by johannes lewinsky

How can you reason with this
Without appearing to argue
that being human
Is learning to be most
that which we are not

It's the silence scares me
In the times i have off
When not committed to
Anything committed but
The day's necessities it's
The silence scares me
And the lack of anybody
To listen scares me
That i've come to this
(or always been this) that still
I need somebody to listen
Somebody to perform to
Even though they've always been
So very few and far between

And i know too well
Her rage her impotence
As the house she's built
Like Steiner's Goetheanum burns
And there's nothing to be done
But listen to the crackling of flames
And howl at the injustice of it

And i understand this
Better than anything
The rage the impotence

It's the abyss that opens
Of meaninglessness
Wider is than Fafner's maws
The absence of sense
Just sheer non sense
Where but minutes previously
All was logic sense

The collapse of all you've worked for
The collapse of identity
This is who i am and this is what i do
Whistling down the wind

And maybe he was right
It doesn't matter what we do
It might as well be one thing as another
But try telling that to the athlete
Who's trained 6 years and finds himself
bed bound by a break or sprain

or the singer who's honed her voice
to lyrical perfection
only to wake one day
and find it gone

it matters because it matters

and maybe we can train ourselves
to accept that nothing matters
train ourselves to forgo attachment
but then we lose

not just the despair
but the anticipation
exhilaration that precedes it
and all that makes us human