Time Share In Oz - Poem by Christopher Higginson
I was only new in Oz
And it was just because
I'd filled a form to win a BBQ
That they told me I had 'won'
But was not the only one
In fact there were some others… quite a few
They didn't tell us lies
About this Second Prize
But said that we'd just 'Party Out' instead
They said at Morton Isle
They had a magic mile
'Of beaches fringed with tropic palms' they said
So they took us in a boat
Across what seemed a moat
Arriving in a bay of 'Movie Scenes'
The meat was on the grating
And the wine was gently sating
As they entertained us there like Kings and Queens
Well, after we were ready
And merrily unsteady
They demanded that we mark on dotted line
It seems this was a trap
And the contract was 'A Wrap'
A Time Share contract that we had to sign
If we signed then we'd be broke
But this great big Aussie bloke
Said 'Do it or I'll leave you here alone! '
'But I'm not ready to be buying! '
And my wife, she was now crying
'Cause we couldn't call for help upon the phone
With these circumstances grim
We'd have to give to him
The contract he demanded and we'd seen
'Til a falling coconut
Hit him just outside the hut
Near the tree that had that graceful eastern lean
We buried him right there
So now we have a share
In an 'Ocean Going' boat that is quite sleek
So it turned out for the best
That he had eternal rest
And we go deep sea fishing every week!
2nd Provocative Verse
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