Time To Say Goodbye Poem by Ramesh Gautam

I stand
motionless
in a hot, sandy desert
and
watch
the fishes' playful dance
amid scorching heat and pain.

The water remains still,
its surface undisturbed.
In the nearby bush,
birds chirp merrily,
a cobra slithers silently,
and a rabbit trembles in fear.
I gaze intently,
with investigative eyes.

I have slowed down,
exhausted by the weight
of sustaining life—
the relentless routine,
the monotony,
the aimless path,
endless losses,
and the boundless pain of self-immolation
spill forth
onto nameless existence.

After a long period of penance,
I received a boon—
a bitter victory.
I embrace life
as an onslaught of frenzy,
long-term losses unfurl.

Like a surrendered guerrilla,
with a weary countenance,
I lie down,
engaging in daydreams,
haunted by nights drenched in misery,
the pain akin to a rugged road,
self-blame and remorse,
all mingling
within a chronically ailing mind.

Eagles and vultures soar overhead,
their cries echoing,
tiger roars reverberate,
and every step feels barbaric.
Dreams have grown threadbare,
ordeal upon ordeal,
foreclosed failures,
all mockingly chuckling.

From the conch sounds of Shivalaya,
temple bells ringing,
and church blessings,
a trembling soul endures
through millennia.
I have suppressed myself
countless times,
reduced to insignificance.
My heart bears the scars
from the harshness of life's acid tests.
Nevertheless,
a moment awaits,
a glass of desert water,
an abstract smile,
incomprehensible celestial pleasures,
starlit beauties adorning the distant horizon,
fragmented reality persists.

The water has not yet flowed,
I continue to gaze,
observing the fishes' antics,
standing in this searing desert,
listening to frogs' croaks,
and witnessing the serpents' movements.

This time,
the conch sounds once more,
perhaps someone has departed—
I am terrified
by my mother's cries,
I fear
my sister's tears,
I tremble
at my brother's screams.
Perhaps,
I, too, have departed...

I stand on the same sandy terrain and observe—
the water remains unmoved,
consistency unbroken.
This time,
I bid my final farewell
to that desert,
forever.