Today! Poem by Randy McClave

I am going to leave the toilet seat up
Today, I'm not going to share my coffee cup,
Today I'm going to have bacon and ham
And I don't really give a damn.
I'm not going to kill any spiders on the wall
And I am not killing any outside insects that crawl,
And I'm not going to work in the flower garden
So, with a smile I beg her pardon.
Today I'm not going to be interrogated
On the women that I once knew and had dated,
I'm not going to talk about my past once again
And I don't like being harassed to way back then.
Today I'm not going to watch her favorite movie
I don't care how it reflects beauty,
And I don't like the movies that she enjoys to watch
I would rather be kicked in the crotch.
Today you know what I'm not doing her diet
My body and taste buds are going to riot,
I'm going to eat all the junk food that I want and can
As does every proud God fearing man.
Today I'm not going to worry, but sit back and relax
I'm going to to wear my favorite shirt and slacks,
Today I will be a king
And my own joy and happiness I will bring.
I will say this with a proud scream and burst
Today, I am going to be first,
Whatever I do or say I'm finally the first name on the list
Today excitedly I will be the first and last one kissed.
I'm not going to take her shopping and sit in the car as I do
I'm going to the hardware store to do whatever I want to,
This is all that I want and need to say
Because today is, Father's Day.

Randy L. McClave