While watching the rainfall,
The little birds fled to their nests,
Leaves fell forced by the strong cold wind,
Lighting struck, thunder followed with a loud roar
As the storm came big and glorious,
Life went on as if nothing ever happened.
This is crazy good. Great imagery, it flows really well, and you have some great alliteration in there. You should prolly put a comma here - 'Leaves fell, forced by the'. It would sound better. also, 'strong, cold wind' needs a comma. Great job though, I think that it's amazing. While watching the rainfall, The little birds fled to their nests, Leaves fell-, - forced by the strong-, - cold wind, Lighting struck, -and- thunder followed with a loud roar As the storm came-, - big and glorious-.- Life went on as if nothing ever happened
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Nice work, Brittanie! (one small suggestion, though: using 'loud' with 'roar' is not necessary) :) Michael