Tortured Poem by brendon khore

it feels strange to look
at you and smile
even when every moment beside
you is a stab to my already broken
heart and I keep holding on to
a fantasy that will never happen
as if I am high on ecstasy
And the illusion is somehow
satisfying my unreasonable desire
that knows no bounds and would even go to the infinite ends of the heavens to quench a life long drought of depression to the point that the pain felt is no longer to the physical but dealt to the extremely sensitive spirit
The pain of looking into your eyes
and thinking abouthow much I love you kills me every time the thought comes Into my mind

its as ifyour eyes lose sight and
can't tell that there is a struggle between reason and desire
The never ending war betweenheart andmind
In the exchange of violent blows I am suffering the most
my entire being is at war against
itself
then waking up each and everyday with
a smile that is out of place
On the verge of insanity the only thing keeping me centred is you like gravity
then I have to decide to let go or hold either way
I lose my breath and my heart stops beating blood stops flowing and I remain lifeless looking into your eyes and filled with wonder and I ask myself why do I love you so much that walking a thousand miles is a walk in the park
And going to the ends of the earth is just an understatement
fighting a losing battle to
the death that would feel like
victorywould be better than
living a lifefull of misery