Two Blocks East, Three Blocks West Poem by Theresa Haffner

(for Eddie Villanueva)


Two blocks east, three blocks west,
These city streets are all that I have left.
They never miss me when I go.
They don’t get mad when I don’t come home.
These city streets have become my only friend.

Three blocks west, two blocks east.
I get everything I need.
I see everyone I want to see..
And every day is like the one before.
Nothing less and nothing more.
First you get some money
Then you find someplace to score.

Everything I own
I carry in my pocket.
My telephone numbers
and a photograph in a locket.

Two blocks east, three blocks west.
That’s the width and breadth of it, my friend.
A world without color, a world of gray.
A world where sunlight goes and comes
to mark another day.

A world where nothing is permanent
A world where nothing lasts.
I don’t think about the future.
I don’t think about my past..
A world without religion
Without family or friends
A world without patriotism
A world without regret.

A world of first names and changing faces
Like gray smoke that rises and drifts
without leaving any traces.

Once my world had color.
Once it had life.
It had a tiny baby.
It had my wife.
A house in a neighborhood
With a garage and a lawn.
But I didn’t do right.
Things went wrong.
It was my own fault.
Now they are gone.
Instead these city streets of gray.
The concrete sidewalks
of cement and brick.
Are all that pave each break of day.

To make a living on these mean streets
You either have to steal,
Become a prostitute
Or else you have to deal.
Some people loan money.
I’ve tried my hand at all of them.
The only thing that’s certain,
One day it will end.

They say I’m an opportunist.
To tell the truth
Most people here
Are only passing through.
They don’t know me.
They don’t care about you.

They’re just here for
Something they can get.
They are hustlers, users,
They are not friends.
When push comes to shove
They’ll be on their way.
What harm if I get the opportunity
To make them pay?
I lay my traps and snares
To catch them unaware.
I provide them goods and services
At inflated prices.
And after 7 PM it doubles.
It's more expensjve at night.
It’s not my fault
If they didn’t see me coming.
They don’t call me Fast Eddie
For nothing.

Come, look at this street corner
Only one year from today.
The streets will have the same names
But everything else will have changed.
If you want to find somebody
There’s no guarantee they’ll be here.
But if you want to pick up something
Someone will take you there

See these marks on my arm?
This is my house. This is my car.
This is my swimming pool.
To me they’re just scars.

The future is uncertain
No one knows how long
the shadows cast.
One only hopes the memories
Will be enough to last.

Because if I don’t love
I will not be hurt.
Because if I don’t hope
I won’t be disappointed.
Because if I do not try
I will not fail.
Because life comes with only
one guarantee.
One day you’ll die.

Two Blocks East.
Three blocks West.