Uncertainty Compounded Poem by Melanie Walendowsky Baker

uncertainty compounded
into rejection most certain
is not what i hoped for
for the final curtain.

pushed into a corner
with no place to go
you forced me to silence
it's all that i know.

i wanted your comfort
and someone to hold
i wanted to know you
and stories untold.

i wanted to see you
just one last time
to put things right
with reason and rhyme.

it wasn't to happen
with games we were playing;
how easier, it seems
to know you're not staying.

i won't have to wonder,
to ponder, and doubt
i won't have to wonder
what you're about.

yet again i'm being left
alone and with whys.
this pattern annoys me
so many goodbyes.

i feel i can't move
i'm frozen in space,
don't know what to do
- not sure what i face.

so silly, it seems,
speculation galore.
i want answers now
i want nothing more.

the answers won't come
i know that now
i'll cope and get over it
i'll figure out how.

you walked into my life,
i'm happy you did.
you restored my hope
and feelings i hid.

(Kuala Lumpur,19 March,2005)