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Undeserving

I feel such guilt at what I've done
For I have asked for your help once again
But in doing so you are drawn into my impossibility
For I can not fix what troubles me

It is deep beliefs which seem set in stone
Cruel emotions that do not make sense
Guilt, shame and anxiety are never far
Bourne from the past they stay like a scar

I struggle to live everyday
For me it is an exhausting fight
The simplest things bring such resistance
This doesn't wane despite persistence

In you I find comfort, love and hope
I feel seen, heard and understood
But there is already too much damage done
So I worry what an earth have I begun

I have asked for help and you said yes
But I fear this cannot end well
Either I will get hurt or I will end up hurting you
I pray I won't and I'm so sorry if I do
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4/14/2021 2:37:45 AM # 1.0.0.559