Unsure Poem by Sammje Peltier

Dreams no longer come to me, as they once did before
but im still stubbling in the crack on the yellow brick road to success, tripping over the flaws in the road, trying to fix every crack, but you smoothed the road when i ran into you, somewhere along this road. i bumped into you, i can see in your eyes the dark shawdows of your past, it kills me that i cant help you, but the shawdows that follow me love are much more richer, they live in the horrible memories hidding behide my smile, but i ddont want to t feel what its like to be me, because when you finally saw me in the mist of darkness, with my head bowed and my arms all cut up, hiding everything about myself, you tried to pull out the girl i once was, i know my love, that i must let go of the bad to feel the good, but it was the bad memories that have been keeping me alive, because my joy is gone, my darling angel, she lives so far away, i cant be with her anymore because im not who i was before, she wont like the change, no angel would love a devil like me, thats why it make me so happy your in my life, because you may not be full angel honey but your alot better than me, thats why our friendship is fadding, because your relising how horrible wrong i am, because i chose to live in this misery and pain. i choose to be this way because i keep my monsters close and my love away, no matter who i try to protect, love or even care for, i endd up destroying them, hurtting them so bad i cut right to the bone with my blade of sadness. i cant face the monsters, even with help i tried, they are quite a challenge, i want to live but im afaried of losing you, i dont know if i can get better but please cant you see, im trying so hard just to be next to you. you have no idea the impact you have on my life, and it all started with a smile, and how do you do to go along with it, and my world was reborn, im not asking for your trust, im asking for your faith, because i need that much.