Untitled Poem by Sophie Evans

I’m thinking about it razor
I’m looking at you now
I’m not sure razor exactly how
I ended up in this mess
I’m trying to let it out
I’ll just do my best

Mum and Dad have fought my whole life
Well, as far as I know
But now we are in loads bigger strife
Dad lost it one crazy night
When he’d been out drinking way too long
Mum told him to sleep in the other room when he got home

He got all wound up
Saying he wanted to leave
Mum said don’t be a tease
He said was she certain she wanted this
She replied yes and sealed it with a kiss

Dad left that night with a sad look on his face
And mum left that night
But in a different way
she went up to the bathroom
and waited till I went to bed
but I could sense darkness loomed ahead

So I waited outside
she ran a bath and jumped in
she had a little splash and then it all went quiet
I heard a little intake of breath
It sounded like it hurt
Then I heard her crying and then there was no hurt

I tried to open the door and found it had a lock
I went around the side of the house
And climbed in the window and opened it with a pop
I climbed in and sat with mum
In that bathtub full of blood
I know she wasn’t there but it kind of woke me up

How miserable she was
The sadness in her eyes
I realised what a loss
Such a confused mind

I don’t know what was wrong
She never even told me
Maybe her life was just too long
So she decided to shorten it
Could have been a good idea


But what about me
I guess I’m doing fine now
I don't know where dad is
But I’m in a foster house
In the bathtub with a razor in my hand
I think I’ll put it back in the cupboard
Where I was thinking of going
Is no-mans land

Life isn’t something
I’ll try to muck around with
My foster mum is calling
She’s helping me get through this

What I write today
Could work
I’m convincing myself
That these tables will turn
That I don’t have the weakness
That my mum showed
I’ll fight this battle but not alone
She raised me like a good girl
Watch me go
I’m doing okay now mum
There’s no point in being low