Wander Poem by Cloe C

I sleep. No, I wander. I wander through hopeless memories. All the blank pages in my mind. Blank isn't the right word, blank is white and unfinished. What I mean by blank is filled to the brim with pure nothingness. pitch black like every time I close my eyes. I close my eyes and cannot move. I can't move not because I'm asleep, its because sleep is what I am not. My conscious self is on earth, my body is on another planet. I can not move I feel stuck in blackness. This is how most nights feel. Either this or I go on walks to sooth my restless mind. Walks they are-
only my mind is not present and I can't control where I go, I can't remember where I go, im mindless. Im walking on an ocean. An ocean of happiness I can't baptize myself in. The ocean gets more wet except the ocean is filled with sweat, sweat from running from all my problems. Exhaustion fills my body. That is the pure moment I realize I am asleep, the wetness is beads of sweat on my forehead from the 16th night terror this week.