Oceans Poem by Cloe C

the phrase cry me a river of tears is never taken seriously. I don't just cry rivers I cry oceans, I cry all seven oceans because sadness is something that consumes me. grief fills my body and flows through my bloodline. on the countless trips to the hospital they put an IV through my arm filled with tears. my only comfort zone is my bathtub. the cold porcelain flooring against my naked body. having warm water flow over the top of my head like a waterfall, a waterfall I've cried so many times. the indent of my body will always remain on my bathtub. the indent consumes my body and holds me so tightly I do not feel the need to move. I feel so comfortable here because it is the only time someone ever holds me. the warm waterfall turns cold and I feel like I'm in my heart. warm surrounded by fluid makes me cold to the bone. I peel myself off of the indented bathroom floor. I lay in bed for hours. my head against my pillow and my body against memory foam mattress that absorbs my body as gravity pulls me down so I cannot move even if I tried. my tears flood my pillows along with muttered screams and sobs. blood stains my blankets along with cigarette burns. I find myself crying an ocean, except the ocean is absorbing my body and I find myself falling so deep in the ocean and I cannot breathe anymore. my lungs feel like they're about to burst like a grenade and my heart is about to give out. the pitter patter my racing heart as it gives its last bout. it surrenders as the waves of the ocean try to mask my carcass. if you ever need me I will be in the sand of the ocean as it is my new bed. the layers of seaweed that will soon form over my lifeless body. I am the only remains from a skeleton sunken city. I am a graveyard that no one comes to visit. my hollow chest feels like a tree that no one notices in a forest. my fingers feel like carrots at the end of a salad bowl no one wants to eat. my blood feels like the last sip of a coffee that no one will drink. so I cry over my unwanted remains. I cry another ocean and find myself in an endless cycle. hopeless and never changing.