Was It Me Or 'me' Poem by Kim Aouad

No one,
and I do mean no one,
will stay with you forever.

With time,
even your name they won't remember.

I've learned to no longer give of myself
what I can never take back,
once given away.

Do I have to cry myself to sleep,
mourning the loss of a love I thought of so highly?

Or deprive myself from quality time with no one but myself
so the memory of us does not sting?

Truth is,
love has retreated,
and I am unsure
whether you loved me
for me,
or for 'me.'

But how could it be that you,
whom I held above the skies,
are simply turning away from all we had?

How could it be that you,
the one person for whom I have ever left another person,
are leaving me with no valid explanation?

How could it be that I,
the one who has tried a countless number of times to avoid such heartache,
be drenched in pain all over again?

I gave you my love and my self,
and gave in to your words and your touch.

I must have lost my purpose in loving you,
and oh how my heart aches at the sound
of your memory.

I do not regret letting you hold me,
and I need not your sympathy
now that I am broken,

because one does not feel sorry for a glass heart one has purposely shattered.

I know that time
will let fade all traces of my existence
and turn me a blurry memory
hidden in the niche of your unconscious.

All I hope is one day in your sleep
you will see me again,
and remember how my smell
Lingered on your shirt
just as yours did on mine,
And how each of us pulled the other hopelessly close
with a desperate need to find completion in the lack of distance between us.

I guess the crevice
we were seeking to clinch
was less physical
than it was emotional,
for even the scraping of skin was apparently not enough...

That last love experience has instilled in me the certainty that
she who loves with her all, is bound to lose her all,
Possibly to a lover who was never meant to stay...