We Lost Her Long Before We Lost Her Poem by Bangaaram Sona

I don't remember
When I lost my granny
Whether it is when
She didn't feel that I am her dear ones any more
Tying me up with the trivial family quarrels
Or Identifying me correctly but calling with some other cousins name
Or Confidently identifying me as some other grandchild
Sharing her experiences with me about people who were born long before me
With a sweet simile as if she is sure than I was one among them
And extending her hand for more laddus after she ate four
I was not angry when she made my mother cry
I was not angry when she could not recognize my mother only as an attendant
who was cleaning her toilet
I was not angry when she was not thankful to my mother when she took care of her like a child but scolded her while tying her white hair into a not or while applying cold cream to her body
My father insisted for more and more attention and care
And my mother went on obeying forgiving my granny who tortured her like a villainy mother in law whom we see in Indian films of our times
I am confused
How come I missed the point of time when I really missed the connection between us
I am sure that it is really not now
When she passed away.