What I Need To Live... Poem by Black Rose Night

Darkness falls once again..
Darkness fills every space, deep inside my heart and soul..
Feeling broken and alone..
Lost in sin..
Lost with every dropp of whisky that fills my blood stream..
Trying to drink away my eternal conflicts and pains..
Alcohol fills my veins every night to supress the thirst..
Moment by moment, shot after shot pain slowly fades, but only for so long before it haunts me once again...
Like sun rising in darkness, I wake up lost and alone once again...
Can't wait to drink again tonight..
To be happy for that one night, that one moment before all the pain and sorrow rushes back.......
I need love in my life, but im having trouble trusting and finding what i need most in this dark life of solitude...
I need love more than ever, but who would love a monster like me? ?
Im one that doesnt exsist and feeds upon others to live...
How can one like me ever find love? ?
All the pain and sorrow i have endured all these years...
All for what?
Another night of lonlyness and sorrow? ?
Another Night filled with death and being haunted by my victoms of my past, present and future....
im running out of reasons to live...
I need guidence more than ever...