What If We Were Action Figures? Poem by Mathew Lewis

What a crazy life to lead!
If I was an action figure the tag line would read:
‘He’s his own worst enemy! ’
The ad campaign would feature a promo,
In which the voice over would bluntly state;
“Simply open the box, assemble, pull the string,
And watch as he auto-asphyxiates.
Marvel at his propensity for bad decisions,
Or his disregard for his own well being,
Be amazed at the stack of cards he builds as a home,
And gasp as it inevitably falls.
Be drawn in by the amazing relationships he encounters,
Then shake your head as he sabotages each one.
This product has no guarantee I’m afraid,
It’s quite likely he’ll break himself after just a few days.”
Thankfully life’s more than a human shaped plastic mould,
It holds the opportunity for a chance of a do-over,
If it didn’t, I’d really be in trouble.
I’m no master of existence,
I have a few philosophical thoughts,
But what use is existential theory
If you forget where the starting point was?
“Tomorrow’s a new day”, the optimists say,
Today was a write off if you swing to the pessimistic way,
Life is just life is the view of a realist,
But it’s just not that simple, if like me, you’re absurdist.
I borrow my outlook from a well known rhyme,
Built on the back of the premise that space and time is a lie;
“I know I was born and I know that I’ll die,
The in between is mine.”
How funny that life can be defined by some lines
Encountered on a C.D, on T.V,
Instead of created in One’s mind.
You would think a proposition
On how to define your actions in life
Would come from yourself,
Not inspired by another’s cool rhyme.
But that’s the key to it all is it not?
We live life in inertia,
Moving forward not by our own will,
But by the happenings around us,
That won’t let us stand still.
Perhaps then that’s the reason
I seem to take hits all the time,
Or constantly get hit in the face
By ‘god’s’ famous custard pies.
I guess till I figure out the science of things,
I’ll be left on the shelf with my little pull string,
And if you take me down too soon,
And play with me too long,
I’ll explode in your hands,
At least then in my view of absurdism,
I won’t be proved wrong.