What You May Not Know.... Poem by Liam Kinkead

What You May Not Know....

Rating: 4.0


What you may not know is, that sometimes the bottom of the bottle is the only thing that can numb the pain. It skews the world in such a way that it's almost as if she were still here. Even if only for a little while.

What you may not know is, I cry myself to sleep most nights knowing that I will never hear her voice again. Even a year later, the thought of never being able to say 'Goodnight, I love you mom! ' again is unbearable.

What you may not know is, at times I sit huddled in front of the toilet ready to puke because I've been crying so much my body just can't take it anymore.

What you may not know is, sometimes I find a secluded corner in the back room at work, and just breakdown, only to have to quickly compose myself when I hear someone coming.

What you may not know is, that as incredibly wonderful as my friends really are with their words of wisdom, and support in my darkest times, Time is the only thing that will get me through this.

What you may not know is, every morning I put on a facade as if it were a uniform so that people don't see the worn down, broken, and defeated soul that I keep bottled up inside. As it turns out, sarcasm and laughter is the best disguise anyone can wear.

What you may not know is, I like to write when I am hurting because it allows me to express my feelings without being an imposition on the people I care about, and I've got enough hurt inside to fill a library.

What you may not know is, what this kind of pain is like. You can't know unless you've been through what I've been through, and lost what I lost. You can not put a price tag on this, and it can not be replaced.



What I didn't know?
- How much pain I'd have to deal with.
- That I'm only human, not a robot.
- That it's ok to hurt, and show emotion.
- How good of a position I am in to help my friends, if and when they ever end up in my situation.
- How strong I really am, and that I will get through this.

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