When I'M Down, I'M On The Ground Poem by Jennifer Peckins

Tear away at the lining of a healing heart
Rip off the tape so I fall apart
Put it back together like a puzzle with two answers
So when I wake, it’ll be from a coma to a cancer
Another ailment after I’m already dead
A bullet wound, but I never put a gun to my head
A waterfall of tears, but never an eye
Never had a reason to break down and cry
I always did find comfort in pain
Didn’t enjoy the sun, liked it better when it rained
Found that darkness seemed to set me free
Broke down the walls that no one else could ever see
But wherever I look I can’t help but run into a scar
Constantly screaming at me, “This is who you are”
The one kicking violently at the seam of my shell
While everyone’s laughing, I’m sitting in hell
Reality leaves me tossing and turning
And sweating and slipping, oh God I’m burning
I jump and suddenly it feels like I’m gone
And my mind erases everything I did wrong
I’m not me, no I’m somewhere else
Things would be different if I had asked for help
But I said I wasn’t weak, strength won’t help me out
It won’t change a thing or get me off this route
I don’t have the courage to turn around
To pick myself up before I hit the ground
And stare reality right in the face
Defend myself to get out of this place