When Jesus Ate Asparagus Poem by Francie Lynch

When Jesus ate asparagus
Did his pee smell like mine;
When he ate his plate of cabbage,
(as that was the habit)
You didn't sense Divinity,
In his sublime proximity.
When he talked of sowing seeds,
Did the Magdalene accede?
I know this sounds quite absurd
Talking about the living Word,
But when he ate a plate of beets
His urine incarnadined.
(Perhaps that's how he made the wine) .
When he had his private dump
He wiped with The Roman Times.

Did Jesus use a hankie
When he blew his nose;
Or did he place two fingers there
Or wipe it on his clothes?
And if he thought he wasn't seen,
He might well use his gaberdine.

When he bathed in Jordan
Did he clip his toes.
I haven't read this anywhere,
The Bible won't disclose.

Yes he really was a man,
Doing the same as I Am
That I Am.
If he were here
He'd get the joke,
Crack a beer
And light a smoke.