When The Going Gets Tough The Gambler In Me Runs Poem by Jamie Evans

The fear ran over me like a cold stream,
Walking away, in a dream...
Married for not even a year,
Walking away, peppered with a salt mingled tear
Shed for the idiot I have become,
The weak minded gambler in me just wanted to run.

It's not that I don't love her, I do
I just never confronted the cause of this blue
Mood that hid itself through drugs and the slot,
And now I fear I have lost the lot...

Doctors and counselors and little brown pills,
And talking and nothing to make me run for the hills,
And still.
everyone around me telling me I am ill.

Its a weakness, a folly, an act of cowardice
Happily married and life, for once, nice,
Then why did I run and destroy what I had?
Admit it man, your stark raving mad.

Sure we are talking again and the time has come
To be open and honest and own to what I've done
But I have left her with a loaded gun...
Why, then, didn't I stay? Why did I run?