Which One Is Second Best? Poem by Alan balter

Which One is Second Best?


My space is but a murky hole
Where the air reeks of rot
Thoughts echoing out of control
What is real and what is not?

A dismal dawn of gloomy gray
And a dusk that fades to black
Will I make it anyway
Dulled by doses of Prozac?

Fitful sleep is my escape
Though littered with vivid dreams
Of a bug-eyed boy with mouth agape
A channel for his screams

Come sup with me; a rare cuisine
A lethal diet of self abuse
Entrees mixed with methamphetamine
And desserts of "What's the Use? "

Like a fetus curled in bed
With knees drawn to my chest
Am I living or am I dead
And which one is second best?