Who Was I To Make You Wait For Me. Poem by Kim Dang

Who was I
to make you wait for me.
Instead, I'll go out of my way to recognize my
relentless mistakes.
I'll stop the lectures,
we can both sit in this silent comfort,
cradling each other as if it's more than natural to
be in these fetal positions.

And I'll want to understand,
because the words won't mean anything
if they're only reprimands,
I'll want to listen instead of waiting for the next gap
in your sentence to jump in
with my own two cents.

The two cents were worthless, weren't they?
You won't expect me to turn around, to wipe that tear off your face,
with my fresh napkin - but I will.
I'll collect each of your tears, they're my hae-pennies.
Worth incredibly more than my two cents to treasure,
when I give them back to you.
You'd love it,
sharing your tears instead of saliva or any other liquids -
you'd know they mean that much more to me.

And when you're angry all I'll do is give you that warmth you really wanted.
I'll give you the abrupt silent hug that has been long overdue,
and whisper to you my understanding.
What you really want is that hug,
not my hand in
the matter, not my conflicting thoughts - if any,
not the latter.
I'll deliver it, on cue, because I know how much more
that'd mean,
to you.

I'll be consistent in what I'll do. Even when it means I'd hurt you,
because above all that's what it'll come down to.
Our truths.
I'd respect you because by now I know your virtues and they clutch me,
right here, against my valves
so tight that I almost
constrict
(when I don't want to) .

A part of the happiness you bring is my subsidiary.
It compliments the happiness that's already inherent in me.
Even with no subject to toss around,
nothing will be tossed around for hours,
from my ear to yours, through electromagnetic fields,
weaving careless laughters,
half past two AM this morning
and leaking uncontrollably...
to the day after.

I'll be all yours, but I'll blatantly, in your face,
keep large parts of me.
...I hope that's okay.
I'll give you the space you need to have your world,
that's how I'll choose to love,
it's healthier if we sometimes let things be.
You'll witness my self love, I've accepted my flaws,
you'll see first hand my insecurities.
So I've learned to accept yours.
No no, my dear, you don't need to change for me.

And you'd be tearful, you'd think you've found something now.
You'd think you've finally found someone who mirrors your reality.
Who validates your views because suddenly,
you find yourself comfortable enough to reveal what's not socially acceptable to me.
You'd know it's okay - these excusable antics
because deep down we're all so crazy.

Damn...
you'd be so proud of me. =)