Why? Poem by Celine Augustine

I lay on the grass
face looking up at the sky
wondering why?
wondering how?
How?
how far is heaven
am I closer if i stand
wondering were I am
am I in heaven?
am i dead?
these words won't get out of my head..
Who?
What?
When?
Why?
...Why?
why did you have to die
I'm laying on the grass
feeling so alone
wishing....
wishing you were here
wondering why he had to take you
its all so not clear
I feel...
Betrayed
Hurt
Breathless..
when you died
I didn't even have the time to say goodbye
I sit up from the grass
hugging my knees
A tear rolls down my face
you left so much behind
I wish i can have a hug
a kiss on the cheek
another word you speak
Its been years
since i saw your smile
Guess thats it
believe its over yet
no!
I'm not giving up
i'm not loosing hope
I'll see you again
I'll see you
just wait
wait at the gate
I'm not going to pretend
your dead
I'll see you again..
, Mom