Why Am I Here? Poem by Shawna King

Morning day and night
the way I think
the way I feel
the way I act
Why am I here
I cant do anything
I cant be sombody
im a no body
So why am I here
I have no body
cant keep someone and never will
So please God tell me why im here
Im a terrible mom
Im a terrible girlfriend
Im a terrible person
Why am I here
Why do I do the things I do
I push people away even when I need them the most
I just dont want to be here
I cant do anything right
Im not wanted anywhere
So God tell me why am I even here
I have the most wonderful babies and I cant even be a good mom
it seems like they dont want me either
God why cant I tell people how I feel
I feel like im nothing
every time I fake a smile for everyone to see
it seems like its easier than letting them in
the things I hold in how I never try
cause I just want to die
I wont be around to mess things up
God my dream was well come to think of it i never had any
cause I was never good enough to even try
The pain pills I took was the only time I was happy
thought I could touch the sky
the feeling of letting go
The reason I cut is to just ease the heart ache and pain
Its the only way to relieve the pressure of exploding everything I hold in
And half the stuff I cant explain
So why am I here
Cause im sure in heck dont want to be
God please tell me why am i here..