Why am I so terrible?
I don't like poor and menial.
And fall into irritation
on the spot if they make a request,
Why sometimes in their faces
something so hateful for me?
And why I want ot be dreadful
and to give them a slap in cheek.
It is all dictated by devil.
and it's me - who becomes his servant,
if by tasty food I am tempted
and for others regret a kopeck.
Only when I appleal to You,
My Consoler and My Christ,
Irritation then disappears
and again I am sweet and kind.
And it seems that I never see him
never know him - my foe,
but how he disappears from Jesus -
that is what my soul hears for sure!
***
Почему я такой ужасный:
нищих я не люблю, и слуг,
почему сейчас раздражаюсь,
если что-то попросят вдруг?
Почему иногда в их лицах
что-то так ненавистно мне?
И так хочется разозлиться
и ударить их по щеке?
Это враг мне диктует, дьявол,
это я - у него слуга,
если сладкой едой прельщаюсь
а другим жалею рубля.
Лишь когда Тебя призываю,
мой Утешитель, мой Христос -
раздражительность исчезает,
и я снова ласков и добр.
И мне кажется, я не вижу
никогда своего врага,
но душою ясно услышу,
как исчезнет он от Христа.
.
It's to your credit, Liza, you realize so quickly you are being unfair to poor people, crushed by poverty and exhaustion. The fact that prayer and Christianity help you is wonderful. However, for centuries wealthy Christians have used Capitalism to become super wealthy and hoard that wealth. They resist increasing salaries of workers and call it inflationary. There is a Gospel passage they used to justify their lack of charity. Jesus says to his disciples, THE POOR YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE. What he meant is twisted and distorted by the rich, but it was a frequent argument throughout the modern age. Your closing yhree stanzas expresses the truth of Jesus's charity.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
And why I want ot be dreadful............to..............ha ha. or did St. John use ot? ? i read some of Daniel's comment. i have to assume that he did NOT read your Poet's Notes! ! ! ! Thanks for the P. N. btw (by the way) . favorite lines: Only when I appleal to You, My Consoler and My Christ, Irritation then disappears and again I am sweet and kind...................but use appeal, not appleal! :) to MyPoemList. i shall make the two corrections of ot and appleal AND use this in my/our June showcase; i've been looking for one i like enough from you. i'll also use your Poet's Notes and the Russian version in the showcase. Thanks. bri :)
Dear Bri! thank you so much for your attention and finding spelling mistakes. I corrected them here! And thanks for adding it to June showcase! I like this poem very much among my others. It has a leap to Heaven inside and makes me jump high too. Not every commentator can catch it as you do. you are right!